GIANT BABY TAKES OVER CITY, LEAVING BEHIND SPARKLE TRAIL

Citizens were astonished when a baby, reportedly as large as a building, crawled over
downtown, crushing everything in its path.

"It was horrible, he was picking up cars and smashing them, as if they were just matchbox cars. I couldn't believe it," said Sue Nigorski, a scared witness.

Not only did it take 5 hours for local police to capture the rampant baby, but the cleanup is still going on. Apparently, the giant is of the species yaybius clitterificus, also known as "yaybie" or more colloquially, "sparkle baby," so it left a trail of glitter along its violent path.

"What a mess. You know when your girlfriend puts on glitter to go out, and you find glitter on your face, all over your house, EVERYWHERE, for like 2 weeks? It never goes away! Now imagine if your girlfriend was the size of a building and she was covered in the stuff. That's what we're dealing with," said Sergeant Matthew Killarney.

Cleanup crews are working 24/7 trying to right the wrongs of this situation, but they would like to remind the public of how preventable this is. The mammoth of a mother who bore this child could have spared the town of this mess if she hadn't used Clitter while pregnant.